Mimi turned three exactly one month ago, and suddenly I went from living with a cute, precious toddler to a moody, still precious (and yes, still pretty darn cute) teenager. Or threenager, a word I first heard on a friend’s blog, but I never knew quite what it meant.
Until now.
The Terrible Twos are a walk in the park compared to life with a threenager. Sure, 2-year-olds can be irrational and challenging — and throw one hell of a temper tantrum — but two seconds later, they’re your little baby again, all cute and pudgy and lovable, curling up in your lap and burying their face in your shoulder. Like a miniature Jekyll and Hyde.
And you realize their behavior is due to the fact that they are probably (a) tired, (b) frustrated that they can’t quite communicate exactly what they want, or (c) haven’t figured out how to control themselves. Or, in most cases, a combination of all three. So you move on.
But threenagers, on the other hand, they’ve learned how to communicate more effectively over the past year … particularly in Mimi’s case, who has always been very articulate (maybe too articulate) for a child her age.
A 3-year-old usually understands about rules and listening — especially when they attend a preschool or daycare — but they often choose not to. Simply because they can.
A 3-year-old has a personality, knows what she does — and does NOT — want, and understands how to push your buttons.
A 3-year-old has a definite point of view, realizes she has some power in this whole kid-parent dynamic, and thinks she is the center of the universe.
Just. Like. A. Teenager.
Perhaps this is part of evolution? Mother Nature preparing us and giving us a glimpse of what life will be like in 10 or 12 years when we’re navigating the minefield called puberty?
If so, then all I can say is, Well played, Mother Nature. Well played.
Here are the 10 ways a 3-year-old is just like a teenager:
1. Mood swings. She was so happy to be trying on new shoes. She even liked the purple ones you picked out, and was all smiles, until the moment you get home and she pulls out the shoes and realizes they’re not pink! Better batten down the hatches, friend. Threenagers can go from giggles to crocodile tears in a matter of seconds. It’s like living with a hormonal pre-pubescent. So. Much. Drama.
2. Silent treatment. It can be tough to distinguish between a threenager who simply doesn’t hear you and one who is intentionally ignoring you. But here’s a hint. If her silent treatment feels like the equivalent of the middle finger, and comes after you’ve either scolded her or you’ve asked her to do something, then she’s giving you the silent treatment. Get used to it.
3. A revolving door of BFFs. She’ll suddenly announce that Chloe is no longer her best friend, and that the random 5-year-old girl she stalked befriended at the playground has now assumed that role, even though Chloe is right there and said 5-year-old girl looks slightly frightened by this pushy threenager.
4. Fighting about clothes. I’m all for individualism and letting kids “express themselves” through their clothing (whatever that means), but when my 3-year-old insists on wearing fleece shirts and sweatpants — that she picked out — in the middle of July, I have to step in. [Cue epic meltdown] And God help us if there are no clean nightgowns at bedtime.
5. Borrows your things. Shoes. Jewelry. Makeup. Cell phone. Purse. (Note to self: Invest in padlock for closet door in about 10 years when she’ll actually try and sneak these items out of the house.)
6. Miss Independent. “I DO IT MYSELF, MAMA!!!!” Then, literally, three seconds later, you hear, “I caaaaan’t do it! Mama, you do it,” in a weary, woe-is-me voice. And when you try to help her, it’s back to a shrill, “NO, I DO IT MYSELF!!” {see mood swings above}.
7. The dirty look/evil eye. This is similar to the silent treatment. Except it can send shivers down your back.
8. Thinks her parents are the dumbest people on the planet. Apparently, I don’t know how to cut her sandwich the right way. Or spell her name. Or the words to “Let it Go.” Or how to use the remote control. “Seriously?!” she’ll say in an exasperated, snotty, threenager voice.
9. Diva-like behavior. Don’t you dare try to take her photo if she’s not in the mood. Seriously. Don’t. Think Sean Penn and the paparazzi. Oh, and don’t try and sing along to any of her Disney or Frozen songs. Because she’s singing. And there’s only room for one songstress in the family. And it’s not you.
10. The Negotiator. Just like a 14-year-old tries to convince you why she HAS to have that expensive pair of designer jeans, a threenager’s all about, “I eat one carrot, then I get ice cream, okay?” Or, “Mama, I have a good plan. I’ll just have a bath tomorrow because I’m really tired.” Because they realized they have some power here, and that there’s such a thing as negotiation. (An added bonus: when their negotiations are logical and actually make sense. Darn those precocious kids!)
But the news isn’t all bad. I know from personal experience that the threenager years are just a blip on your 3-year-old’s journey, and they will grow out of it as that fourth birthday approaches. And, yes, you will (eventually) find yourself getting nostalgic and weepy for that little girl who would prance around in your high heels. Even with a scowl on her face.
I guess, in some ways, navigating these challenging periods of childhood is like giving birth. In the end, you don’t remember the pain as much as you do the love and joy.
Jen says
HAHAHAHA! Right there with you, my friend. I still love the term Threenager – it’s perfect !
Lauren says
Lol! Love the threenager term. It is perfect. My little miss “thang” has more purses and shoes than I do and she is only 2.25. I am in for a world of hurt.
Annie {Stowed Stuff} says
Hilarious – threenager! I agree whole heartedly about 2 vs. 3. We just hit 4 and man oh man! So stubborn and needs no help doing anything. It takes 5 minutes for him to attempt to buckle his own seatbelt in 90 degree heat and then he throws it and has to start all over again. #ICANDOITMYSELF!
Jessica says
I don’t know if it’s because she’s a girl, but dealing with this threenager has been a lot more challenging than her older brother. It must be because we ladies are so mature 🙂