I was not the neatest child. It’s no coincidence that my childhood nickname was “Messy Jessie.” My bedroom was, to be honest, kind of a sty. Clothes strewn about, books shoved under the bed, old cups and God-knows-what-else collecting dust and growing mold on my nightstand. But for some reason, I didn’t mind. Perhaps I found it comforting? Maybe I was just lazy? A little of both? But now I’m sitting here wondering if messiness is genetic because …
Enter Exhibit A. Buddy’s bedroom. And I won’t even show you Exhibit B, the playroom.
There are no words. Other than Mom and Dad: I’m sorry. I guess this is what you call payback.
It’s really gotten bad over the last few months. He just seems incapable of picking up after himself, even when Dr.G. and I continuously threaten/nag/bribe him. It’s like he just doesn’t seem to care. It doesn’t bother him when Mimi tried to cross the playroom [in one of the rare times she was barefoot] and stepped on little Lego pieces the whole way, like she was crossing a minefield, and cried hysterically.
When we run through the various scenarios of what will happen if he doesn’t clean up (no video games, no treats, etc.) he literally shrugs his shoulders and says, “I don’t care.” What!? He doesn’t care if he loses video game privileges for a week? Crap, what leverage do we have now?
And I’m tired of hounding him about this. We only get a few precious hours together in the evening after school and work – I really don’t want to spend it being a Nagging Mom. No one likes her. But I’m also tired of picking up after him. Plus he now thinks that if he avoids it long enough, I’ll eventually give in and do it for him.
So I’ve stopped. As you can obviously tell. And now his room has become impassable. It is, quite literally, a pit. I am scared of what I will find in there. When I tell him I’m afraid if I walk in his room I’ll trip and fall, you know what he says? “Mommy, I’ll show you the path I use. Just step where I step.”
Um, isn’t that what all the hoarders on “Hoarders” say?
Now I am definitely not one of those insanely organized, neat-freak moms, but seeing messes like the one in Buddy’s room completely stresses me out. I can literally feel my blood pressure rising to dangerous levels just looking in his room. So I try to keep the door shut. Except the mess is escaping so far that we can’t even close the door.
Enter my two friends: a garbage bag and “jail.” [Insert evil laugh here]
On Monday, I told Buddy: “You have until Friday night to pick up everything off your bedroom floor and put it in it’s rightful place – no shoving things under the bed. Otherwise, on Saturday morning, I’m going to put everything that’s on the floor in a garbage bag” [because a garbage bag has an impact, you know?] “and it’s going to sit in ‘jail’ and you won’t be able to see or play with them for a whole week.” [meaning I’m going to hide it somewhere in our messy basement.]
And he calmly replied: “A week, ehhhh, I don’t care.” And I was speechless.
So last night, when I almost broke my neck on a Matchbox car and saw the mess had actually grown (is it alive?), I raised the ante and told him the jail sentence has been increased to a whole month.
That got his attention.
“A month?!?!?!?” he whined.
I told him there was an easy solution – just clean up by tonight before he goes to bed. It’s in his control. It’s his choice. Aren’t those the words child development experts always tell you to use?
So first thing Saturday morning, I’ll be right outside his door, my trusty Hefty bag in hand. Believe me, I don’t like resorting to scare tactics, but something has to give. Nothing else is resonating with him and I want him to learn to pick up after himself and take care of his belongings, not rely on his maid mom. So we’ll see if this works. If not, then maybe you’ll see us on the next episode of “Hoarders.”
And in the meantime, let’s just hope he doesn’t sneak a peek into my closet. I guess some old habits die hard. Shhhh …..
Do you have any suggestions for getting your kids to pick up?? Because I have no clue what we’ll do if this doesn’t work …
Kelly says
I gotta say, I love the jail idea! I’d stick with that especially if nothing makes him care….but….what if you take it away, he’s sad, then forgets and starts a whole new mess of new stuff???
Jessica says
I know! That’s my fear. Sigh. I guess we’ll find out 🙂