Isn’t it crazy how now one change, one decision, can trigger a whole domino effect?
That’s what’s happening now. But it’s all good.
As I’ve been alluding to over the past week, I am leaving my current job, where I’ve been for more than six years … ever since Dr. G. and I relocated from Baltimore back to New England.
It’s funny: on one hand, six years doesn’t sound like a crazy long time. But when I stop and think about it:
- Buddy was 11 months old when I started here; he couldn’t walk and was only saying a few words. Today, he’s an active and chatty 7-year-old boy who is absolutely loving first grade.
- We closed on our first-ever house only a few weeks after I started.
- And Mimi wasn’t even a twinkle in my eye.
So it’s safe to say my colleagues have been with me as I morphed into a working suburban momma … a role I am very happy to play.
Making the decision to leave wasn’t easy. It never is. I adore my boss, who is not only incredibly good at what she does, but has been so kind and understanding of the ups-and-downs of being a working mom, and never gave me a hard time about leaving early to pick up a sick kid at daycare, or having to come in late because someone had a dentist appointment.
There’s also something to be said about having a “comfortable” job that you have done for so many years and can do quite easily. And being able to work from home on Fridays (a perk I would likely lose if I took a new position) is a pretty sweet deal, too.
Plus, there were also the logistics to consider … because the new opportunity would involve a slightly longer commute and returning back to commuter rail life and living off a train schedule. I did this for nearly three years when we lived in Baltimore and I worked in Washington, D.C., and I swore I would never do it again.
But all these issues, all these “pros and cons,” really only affected me: my work-from-home day, my boss, my commute, my comfort level.
Yet by accepting this new job, and taking on this new schedule (which included five days in the office), I’d also be subjecting my family to some major changes.
Because now Mimi’s daycare (where we’ve been for more than six years, ever since Buddy was a baby) would no longer be convenient. In fact, since it is the exact opposite direction for both me and Dr. G., it would add significantly more time to our commutes and there would be no feasible way to keep her there.
Buddy would need before school care, in addition to the after school care program he was already attending.
And after six years of my being the primary kid drop-off/pick-up person (based solely on the fact that daycare has always been on my way to and from work), Dr. G. and I would have a more formal arrangement: one person does drop-offs, and one does pick-ups. While this is actually more of a positive than a negative, there are also some inherent challenges here, given Dr. G.’s unpredictable work travel.
In the end, I had to fight my feelings of mom guilt and make the leap. I know some people may read this and think I’m being selfish. But as I read somewhere, “When you do make a decision about work, don’t feel guilty. What’s best for you is best for your family.” And I realized I couldn’t turn down an opportunity that would allow me to make a much-desired — and parallel — switch to a new (but similar) field, where I could focus almost exclusively on what I enjoy doing the most professionally.
And while I admit I am one of those people who likes (and needs) to work outside the home, I also feel that if I’m going to be away from my kids all day, I want to be doing something I truly enjoy and get personal satisfaction from, and allows me to grow. I don’t want to come home from work all cranky and unhappy and snapping at my family. That’s what’s been happening for awhile — and was the biggest clue that I was burned out and ready for a change.
So I’m going for it, with the support of my incredible husband and my resilient and flexible family. Change is never easy, but it’s not necessarily bad either. Change also means moving forward and improving things. It may take us awhile to see that, and I know we’ll probably go through some growing pains as we get adjusted to our new schedule, but in my heart I know I made the right decision.
P.S. Please bear with me if I am not posting as frequently in the coming weeks while we get used to this new routine. I promise, it will only be temporary!!
Jacqui says
Congrats on the new job and good luck with the adjustment. You will make it work!
Jessica says
Thanks so much!! It’s all a bit scary right now, but I know it will be okay in the end 🙂
Sheri says
Good luck!! I’ve been on the same fence, weighing the pros and cons. I need a change too!
Kristin Wheeler (@MamaLuvsBooks) says
WOW!! The leaves are even more beautiful where you are! And good luck with the changes in your life too! I’m sure it will all work out!
Mary Larsen says
Congrats and good luck on your new job and your new routine!! So excited for you – changes are sometimes scary, but always thrilling!