It’s official. I have turned 40. The big 4-0. Middle-aged. Over the hill. The 40-49 age group in road races.
Kinda crazy.
When I was younger, I thought 40 sounded so old. That it meant wearing mom jeans and white Reebok sneakers and sporting a sensible short haircut while I got ready for my bridge club.
I mean, I recall my own mother’s 40th birthday party, for crying out loud. I was 16 years old, so I wasn’t just there, but I really remember it. (Although maybe that has something to do with the male stripper in attendance…). It’s just sort of surreal to think that I’m now that age.
But you know what I’m finding? Life on the other side ain’t so bad.
Sure, I loved my 30s and I’m sentimental about seeing them go. I mean, that’s the decade in which I became a mother and homeowner and full-fledged grown-up. But, let’s be honest, they were also a total and complete blur.
And let’s not talk about my 20s (especially my early 20s), which was plagued with so many insecurities and bad choices and simply trying to figure out what to do next…and who I was.
My 40s, on the other hand, well, it kind of feels ripe with possibility, and I’m excited to see what they have in store. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I don’t feel as old as I thought I would at 40. Or that I’m still being presented with new experiences and opportunities, still dreaming new dreams, and still meeting fascinating and lovely people.
Or maybe it’s as simple at this: I’ve realized turning 40 just means you’re a wiser, more experienced, more confident, more fabulous version of your 20- and 30-something self.
Getting older is liberating in so many ways…and a luxury. And I can honestly say I am soooo much more accepting of myself and more comfortable in my skin today at 40 than I think I have ever been… wrinkles, stretch marks and all.
So because you guys know I am obsessed with lists, here are 40 things I can do now that I’m 40:
- Run a half marathon.
- Drive in the snow.
- Distinguish between a cabernet and a pinot noir.
- Look forward to alone time, rather than being afraid or intimidated by it.
- Wear a two-piece swimsuit with some semblance of confidence.
- Be happy for people, rather than envious or jealous. (One exception: my teacher friends who have the summers off. I’m still totally jealous of you.)
- Figure out who my true friends are…
- …and let go of the toxic ones.
- Embrace my idiosyncrasies and acknowledge my flaws.
- Trust my instincts and my intuition.
- Be a mentor at work.
- Do a set of military-style push-ups.
- Forgive myself…and others.
- Determine that point when I’ve had too much to drink and am about to go over the edge.
- Read an issue of Cosmopolitan with all of their “advice” and “self-help” articles and think, Thank God that isn’t directed at me.
- Go dancing with my girlfriends and not give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks.
- Own my personal style, rather than pretending to be someone I’m not.
- Look forward to spending a quiet night at home with a glass of wine and a new magazine, rather than feeling mortified that I don’t have plans.
- Go to the gynecologist without being embarrassed.
- Stand strong for my beliefs and values, speak up for myself, and say “no” — even if it means rocking the boat.
- Understand that the dreams and goals you start out with may drastically change along the way, and that’s okay…
- …but know it’s never too late for some of those dreams to come true.
- Know that health is not something to be taken for granted.
- Take a leap of faith and know I’ll be okay, even if I fall.
- Go out for the evening and come home at 10pm and feel perfectly content.
- Turn down an invitation because I’m tired or it’s simply not something I’m interested in doing without FOMO (fear of missing out).
- The “no makeup” makeup look.
- Not apologize for my success or victories.
- Let go of the small stuff.
- Realize that some people come into your life for a specific reason, even if it’s sometimes temporary. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
- Make small talk.
- Treat my body – the same one that has run half marathons and birthed two babies – with respect.
- Take care of another human being…and do a pretty damn good job at it.
- Ask for help when I need it.
- Pick my battles.
- Eat the dessert if I really want it.
- Laugh at myself.
- Admit when I’ve messed up.
- Prioritize sleep.
- Know that some people will like me and some people won’t, and that’s okay.