This ridiculous heat wave is making me super cranky. And grumpy. And irritable.
So rather than fight my inner crab, I have decided to embrace it! That’s why today I’m sharing my list of the 10 things (besides 95 degree weather and 100% humidity) that get under my skin and make me bat s&@t crazy!
Some people would call them “pet peeves” … and I would too, if I wasn’t sitting here with a sweaty cleavage and a head full of frizzy hair (c’mon, you ladies know what I’m talking about).
Here they are, in no particular order (well, that’s not quite true … read on to find out):
1. Chewing with your mouth open. Ugh. Enough said.
2. In fact, any sort of lip smacking, slurpy noises makes me nuts. For me, it’s the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard.
3. People who refuse to walk the 15 steps it takes to return their shopping cart to the corral and instead just leave it next to their car, where it will inevitably roll and either (1) block the parking spot, or (2) slam into someone else’s car.
5. What about drivers who drive in the left high speed lane at 60mph and refuse to move over, completely oblivious (or simply not caring) about the fact that they are single-handedly screwing up the traffic behind them? Gahhh!
6. Hearing words that don’t actually exist used in everyday conversations, like “irregardless” and “excetera.” Oh, and the word “moist,” which is real but should not be used in any situation. Unless you’re talking about cake.
7. This one comes courtesy of my old days commuting via public transportation, but I still notice it here and there: Men who, for some unknown reason, feel like they need to sit with their legs spread wide open on the subway, airplane, etc., thereby reducing your personal leg space (unless you want to get all cozy with a stranger). OK, I get it, you’re a guy and I certainly don’t know what it’s like to have that kind of anatomy, but seriously, unless you are Dirk Diggler, NO ONE needs that amount of leg room. It’s gross, not to mention rude.
8. I have a whole slew of gym pet peeves (trust me, this could be its own post), but what makes me nuts at the gym are (1) people who talk on their phones mid-workout, (2) people who don’t wipe down the equipment after they use it (nasty!), and (3) when there are four open treadmills, yet the big, sweaty, sketchy dude has to pick the one right next to me.
9. People who throw trash and litter out their car window. Really?
10. And … drumroll please … the gross misuse of apostrophes. Yes, this is my biggest pet peeve. I know, not terribly exciting, but I am really starting to think they stopped teaching grammar in school, because I can’t go anywhere without seeing apostrophe errors: notices sent home from my son’s school, advertisements in the paper, signs in front of businesses and, yes, even products sold at Kohl’s:
Tell me: What ruffles your feathers?
Jen says
The shopping cart thing makes me so mad. We were at Target the other night and, I’m not kidding, there were 23 carts not in the corral. Oh It made me so mad. Way to block valuable parking spaces, jerks!
Jessica says
I know! I can’t tell if it’s laziness or indifference. Or both.
Michele C. says
I have actually gone and taken someone’s cart that they just put in front of their car and put it in a corral while they watch me, turned, and mouthed “was that so hard?” 😉 DONE with parking lot issues. If you don’t want to deal with walking it back, park next to the corral moron.
Jessica says
Good for you, Michele!!!! I am glad I’m not the only one driven batty by this 🙂
Annie {Stowed Stuff} says
Hilarious!!!!! The Kohl’s FRAME!!! Is that for real??? All those things listed in the post make my bat shit crazy too! Well said.
Jessica says
Oh yes! I stumbled across that gem back in the fall! I tweeted Kohl’s to tell them about it but – shockingly – never heard back 🙂
Sheri says
You just nailed everyone of mine! I purposely park my car at the farthest corral. I don’t care how far it is from the entrance. Avoiding all annoying situations for the most part. Hearing my father eat a popsicle…just take an ice pick to my ear.
Bri says
Oh, thank GOD you mentioned the apostrophe issue. It makes me so stabby that it’s hard to concentrate on life sometimes. I just want to get paid to proofread the world.
Shell says
The trash out the window … don’t even get me going!
Julia Magnusson (@notlikeacat) says
“The Girl’s”–hah!
“Moist” should never be used, ever.
And add this: FINGER LICKING. It drives me RIGHT over the edge. And I know who is going to do it, and I brace myself and cringe and WHOA THERE YOU GO LICKING YOUR FINGERS AND I WANT TO COVER MY EARS AND EYES AND UNHEAR/UNSEE IT PLEASE. Even just writing this is making me feel gross.
Jessica says
Ugh, finger licking!!!! Good one!
Jenny Sayler says
What a great list! I’ll add people that don’t merge when others are and then speed past to the very end and try to push in. “NO WAY BUDDY!”, I always make them wait or if I see them coming I move over and block the lane. Everyone needs to take their turn, you aren’t more important. So rude! People saving an entire row of seats in a really busy place, one seat sure, but a whole row? How hard it is to buckle a booster seat, they all seem to be built an inch wider than my seat so I’m always battling the buckle.