They were an innocent purchase.
Buddy has always been infatuated with the color red. He is instinctively drawn to the color. Clothes, toys, sports equipment, you name it. If it comes in red, he has to have it.
Now that he’s nine and wearing clothes in the regular boys department, it’s been a challenge finding red clothes…especially red pants. Particularly track or activewear pants, the only kind of pants he will wear. Navy? Gray? Black? Even bright neon green? No problem.
But red? They’re nowhere to be found. Is red more of a little kid color? Is it considered gauche in the 9-12 year-old set?
And then I stumbled across this pair on the GapKids website during a recent sale as I was shopping for Mimi’s Christmas dress. Red sweatpants!? How could my loungewear-loving, red-obsessed son NOT love these? And they’re even slim-fit, so they hopefully won’t seem super sloppy like most sweatpants.
I was so excited when they came in the mail last week. I ripped them out of the package and announced that I finally found him some red pants. He took one look at them and proclaimed, “I don’t like these.”
Stop the presses. Say whaaaaat?
“Why?” I demanded. “They’re red. They’re sweatpants.”
“They’re dorky,” he replied.
Dorky. Now there’s a word I haven’t heard in awhile – and one I have never heard come from my 9-year-old when it comes to fashion. Because, until this point, he’s never had an opinion on anything fashion-related …unless you count his refusal (just like every other boy his age) to wear anything involving zippers or collars or jeans.
Deflated, I stashed the red sweatpants in the closet for the next few days. Then on Sunday night, as I was organizing his clothes for the week (a HUGE timesaver, at least in our house, and the only way to prevent him from wearing dirty clothes and pajamas to school), I thought I’d give the red sweatpants another shot. Because, hello, they’re sweatpants. I paired them with his favorite Red Sox shirt, and left them in his closet.
The next morning, he came into my room wearing the Red Sox shirt…but with totally different pants.
“Where are the red sweatpants I bought you?” I demanded.
He gave me a serious look. “Mom, I don’t want to wear them. I look stupid. People will make fun of me. I’ll feel like a dork.”
There’s that word again. Dork.
But most importantly, I was struck by the fact that, for the first time, my son was flat out refusing to wear something — not because he found it physically uncomfortable, but because he was seriously concerned with his appearance. About what his friends would say. About fitting in.
Suddenly, these red sweatpants were more than just an article of clothing. They were a clear and unequivocal sign of my son’s impending tweendom.
I wavered a bit. There was the side of me that thought he was being ridiculous. It wasn’t like I was forcing him to wear jeans, god forbid. Just wear the freaking sweatpants. (Especially since he had already ripped the tags off).
But then I stopped. Because, really, was I going to make him wear something that clearly made him uncomfortable and self-conscious? That he detested? Not that we have tons of disposable income, but was the $20 that I spent on them worth my child going to school feeling embarrassed or fearful of being teased?
So I gave in (although I did give him a bit of a hard time about his removing the tags, and eliminating the possibility of returning them). I let him wear the other pants he picked out.
I remembered reading somewhere that whenever clothes begin to matter to your child, then you need to back off. I think that day is here, although I need to find a way to give him some autonomy while making sure he doesn’t wear dirty socks or shorts in January. If that means he wears clashing gym clothes, but is happy with his choice and feels comfortable and confident, then so be it. Because he clearly has his own style and opinions and beliefs and concerns, and I don’t want to stifle or discount them.
And, really, when you get right down to it, I guess they are only sweatpants.
Heather @ Kraus House Mom says
I haven’t been able to pick out Stella’s clothes for the past 2 years, she’s 7. Maizie flat out refuses to wear jeans, I mean temper tantrum if the subject comes up.
sheri mcshane says
My middle one does the mismatched gym pants with collared shirts all of the time. He completes his look with gloves…even in 50 degree weather. Drives me crazy, but he’s happy and is my only child who’s been picking out his own clothes and getting himself dressed since he was 3.
Those red sweats might make comfy stay-at-home on a rainy day pants.