1.Who needs TV or toys when you have bodily noises and functions for your entertainment? Seriously, my child is a like a one-man band, with his various array of (real and pretend) burps and farts — which, of course, he finds totally hysterical. And as for the potty talk? Get used to it. Let’s just say he’s lucky his mom also has the sense of humor of a 12-year-old boy.
2. The pee. Okay, I know that a miss here and there is normal, but my guy is 6 and I’m still cleaning disgusting yellow, sticky messes off the floor and the base of the toilet and from behind the toilet seat and other bizarre places in the bathroom. Really, does he stand there with his hands on hips and just spray from left to right, like he’s watering a garden? I don’t get it.
3. The penis obsession. It starts early, my friends.
4. They are always moving. Always. Jumping, running, bouncing, wrestling, chasing, shoving. And when you throw in the daredevil factor (e.g. Let’s see what happens when I ride down the stairs in the laundry basket!)? It’s kind of like living with a cross between Tigger and one of the guys from Jackass.
5. Be prepared to visit your local emergency room at least once (or, if you’re like me, twice … within the span of eight weeks). Why? See No. 4. You know what’s fun? Trying to get a 3-year-old boy to lay still for stitches when he just went through the same thing two months earlier and totally knows what to expect.
6. They only speak in one volume: LOUD. That is, unless you are: (1) at the library, (2) trying to get his stubborn little sister to take a nap, or (3) in the changing room with him at Macy’s and he asks why your tummy jiggles. Then we’re talking rock concert decibles.
6. Mean boys do exist. Little girls aren’t the only ones who can be catty and cruel to each other.
7. Boys can be sensitive about their body image. I’ll never forget when Buddy pinched a teeny piece of flesh from his tummy (probably the last remnants of his babyhood) and announced he was fat. I was horrified. But it served as a reminder that our sons are also paying attention to the way we talk about our bodies … not just our daughters.
8. You can shield them from certain cartoons and video games, but somehow boys are naturally drawn to weapons. I can’t explain it. And it doesn’t matter if they don’t have a toy gun. Boys seem to be able to make weapons out of anything, whether it’s a banana or some Legos or a broom.
9. They really do believe in superheroes.
10. Boys love their mamas. I’ve heard people talk about how special the mother-son relationship is, but I never fully understood what they meant until I had a son of my own. It’s true: “Little boys leave smudges on your heart.”
What would you add to this list?
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Kelly says
Good to know!!!
Jessica says
You’ll have to report back in a few years and let me know if you recognize some of these π
Lesley says
Love it…..think you covered just about everything! Can’t help but wonder what the next six years will add to the list!
Jessica says
Hmm, by then they’ll be 12?? The idea of dealing with puberty makes me want to go hide under my covers π
Michele C. says
bwahahaha. the volume thing is SOO true. And the penis obsession. My goodness, enough already!! π
Jessica says
LOL – seriously!!! Man, it starts early!
Sheri says
Oh honey…I have three of them! I completely understand. I had two of them “crossing swords” in the toilet while the other was peeing in the shower drain last night before brushing teeth. Brushing teeth….can’t they get their spit in the sink only…not all over the faucet, counter, and wall?
Jessica says
Sheri, you are killing me with “crossing swords” π Ahh, the teeth brushing mess! That’s a good one. I am amazed how toothpaste always ends up on the wall?
Karen says
Nobody warned me about the smell. I thought boys didn’t get smelly until puberty. Wow, was I wrong.
Jessica says
Oh boy, we haven’t gotten there yet (although we have definitely encountered stinky feet on more than one occasion) π
mel says
Love it! You have it all covered! LOL the penis obession! It starts so young too!
Stephanie Kay says
Every single word is true!! I should know, I have 3 boys (4, 8, 9) and another in the oven. As for the pee, they really don’t watch what they are doing. But I discovered handing them a spray bottle of diluted vinegar and a couple of paper towels seriously decreased the mess in the bathroom. They didn’t like cleaning it up any more than I did so it drastically improved their aim. I think I started this when the oldest was 5 so your guy is definitely old enough.
Lisa H says
We have 7 boys aged 20, 16, 15, 14, 13, 10 and 7… the penis obsession does indeed begin early… and it only gets worse as they get older (and start joking with each other about it… and telling each other stories etc) I wouldn’t trade a single one of them, although our 3 daughters might beg to differ π
Dollops of Diane says
My husband and I were just talking about #8. My 4yo and 2 yo are obsessed with bad guys and weapons even though (clearly) we don’t promote it in the house. It’s like they’re just born that way!
Jessica says
I know, it’s like an innate quality in boys. I’m still baffled by it.
The Domestic Fringe says
Yup. That about sums it up. The fact that they really do love their mamas makes it so much easier to forgive the pee. π
~FringeGirl
Ashley says
Yes this! All of this is so true. I couldn’t believe how early all the typical “boy stuff” started. Raising a boy has actually helped me understand men a lot more easily. They are seriously brought forth from the wound making machine gun noises. I still can’t make a machine gun noise. Not that I want to. I actually try not to encourage the weapon play or anything like that and, you are so right, they still just somehow know. Mind = Blown.
Happily stopping by from Honest Voices.
Molly B. says
Spot on! I enjoy having a boy so much. Some on the list I have a bit to look forward too…but I’d seriously have 5 more…I’m addicted to that mama’s boy love!!
Jessica Cobb (@DomesticPirate) says
Found you on the Honest Mom Link-up!
GREAT list! My older son is 3, and the penis obsession has already started! There’s now a blanket rule in the house that if you’re going to be playing with your penis, you go to your own bedroom to do so!!!
Ginger Kay says
Yes, I think they do go hands free at the toilet. It’s really the only explanation.
Enjoy your boy!
Nikki | Days With Us says
Hi Jessica. I found you on the Honest Mom Link-up! Great post. I have a 4 y.o. daughter and a 2 y.o. son. I agree with the volume and movement thing. Yup, it’s noisy here and his happy and sad screeches are the same exact volume {loud, loud, loud and always animated}. We haven’t started the potty stuff yet so I’ll keep your post as a reminder of what’s to come. I look forward to reading more of your posts. Thank you.
Running Mama says
My guys 16 months, so I haven’t gotten ALL of these yet, but I was hoping some of these would get better with age. You’re kind of dashing my hopes.
Oh well, at least he loves me best for now
Steph at I'm Still Learning. says
Yup, yup and YUP! As the mother of 2 boys, I cannot agree with you more. My two cannot be in the same room together without punching or kicking each other. It makes me CRAZY! But they do love their mamas, don’t they? Found you on Honest Mom. It’s nice to meet another mother of boys!
Jessica says
They sure do π Thanks so much for visiting!!!
PragmaticMom says
A few more:
1) They love to snuggle.
2) They will always love their mama!
3) They can be neat freaks.
4) They can ignore their bodily functions in order to reach the next level in a video game resulting in pooping in their pants even when they are well past potty training time!
Jessica says
Love these!!!! Great additions!
Guest says
Funny. My little girl is a lot like this. Except for 3. She just doesn’t have one of those but she is obsessed with what is down there. Looking, touching, humping. She even tries to pee on the toilet seat while spreading her legs wide and watching everything that is happening down there. I do think her goal is to see if she can make it go out over the seat and onto the floor. I simply see my kids in personalities, not in sexes. She has a lot of traits that society would say is “boyish” and my son has a lot of traits that society would say is “girlish.” I just see my kids.
Jessica says
How funny! Actually, a friend of mine says the same thing about her son and daughter π
Connie Cabe says
I had to post a comment here because I had the same problem when my son first started using the “big potty.” His aim was horrible. But I decided to use the weapon fascination to my advantage: I painted a target in the toilet for him to aim at! Here is what I did, and it worked wonderfully: Just turn off the water to the toilet and flush it so that the water level drops. Then dry it with some tissue, paint a bulls-eye as low as you can on the inside back of the bowl with red fingernail polish. Give it a few minutes to dry and then turn the water back on. The bowl will fill to normal level and the target will be just below the water level. Then all you have to do is show it to your little man and tell him to hit the target. You can easily remove it later with polish remover. It worked great for my son. I hope this helps some of you. PS. It’s a great conversation starter too. Friends would ask, “what’s up with the target in the toilet?”
Jessica says
Okay, that is GENIUS! I am totally going to do this! Thanks so much for sharing π
sarah says
I find it a bit concerning normalizing that they’ll play pretend guns. My son is 3 and has no clue what a gun is and through the many play groups we attend I havent witnessed a little boy pretending or speaking of a gun.He doesn’t watch super heros. He’s perfectly content with cars planes and trains. Besides that everything is spot on!
Leslie says
I have 2 boys of my own. I love the bullseye idea, but a similar take on that would be to put a couple of Cheerios (or Froot Loops!) in the bowl and have him aim to hit them when he pees. I also know a mom who put a few drops of blue food coloring in the bowl, telling her son how he can make the blue water turn green. Found your blog thru Pinterest, btw. This is my first visit, and I love what I see! (and Happy Blogiversary!) π