So you guys know I love lists and surveys, right? Truthfully, they’re some of my favorite posts to write–and read. They’re fun, snappier, sillier, and provide the opportunity to be a little wittier than I am in some of my more “serious” narrative or diary-like posts.
The other day I was leafing through the latest issue of Marie Claire and stopped suddenly when I saw this feature called “Opposites” in the very back of the magazine. A new kind of survey!! It was like Christmas and my birthday all rolled up in one! Opposites, of course! Brilliant!
So naturally I scooped up the idea. Hope you enjoy!
1>>
Picky About: Dresses. My makeup.
Not So Much About: Magazines. If it’s got a glossy cover, I’ll read it.
2>>
I feel for: Dogs in need of forever homes. Circus animals (so Olivia Wilde said the same thing in her “Opposites” but this is totally true for me, too!)
No sympathy: People who are lazy and self-entitled. Right wing zealots. Politicians who want to make decisions about my body.
3>>
Skills Mastered: Plucking my eyebrows. Making guacamole.
Can’t Quite Get the Hang Of: Whistling. Driving a stick shift. Sewing. French braiding. Gardening.
4>>
Early For: Um, can I skip this one? Or plead the fifth?
Late For: Appointments. Meetings. Events. I totally underestimate how long it takes me to get somewhere. I blame my childhood in Rhode Island, where whenever someone asked you how long it took to get somewhere, the answer was always “15 minutes.”
5>>
Totally Get the Appeal: Maxi dresses. Taylor Swift. The “lob” haircut.
Don’t Get At All: Snapchat. Mommy wars.
6>>
Getting Better At: Swearing.
Getting Worse At: Patience.
7>>
Perennially Cool: A well-fitting pair of black trousers. Wedge heels. Karaoke. Gold hoop earrings.
Never Cool: Pants with pleats. Smoking. Mom capris. Fanny packs.
8>>
Moment of Triumph: Crossing the line at my first half marathon
Epic Fail: Anytime I attempt something crafty that I found on Pinterest. And skinny jeans. They’re just not meant for me.
9>>
Glad It’s Ahead of Me: Going through the college search and application process with my kids. And my 40s.
Glad It’s Behind Me: The insecurity of high school, of not knowing who I was, of always feeling like I had to impress other people, of not believing in myself. And grunge. So glad the grunge period is over.
10>>
Hottest Place I’ve Ever Been: Dallas. In August. When 7 months pregnant.
Coldest: Boston this past winter. Duh.
11>>
Always Up For: Girls night out. A glass of red wine. An old Beverly Hills, 90210 rerun. (Preferably all at the same time).
Never Up For: Camping.
12>>
Too Much In My Life: Pressure. Crazy schedules. Emails.
Not Enough Of: Lazy weekend mornings. Free weekends. Sleep.
13>>
Endlessly Curious About: Running. Geography. Nutrition.
Zero Interest: Stock market. Country music. Golf.
14>>
Subject I Won’t Shut Up About Lately: My kids.
Subjects I Avoid: Politics. School/small town drama.
15>>
True Believer: Love. Karma. Friendship.
Major Skeptic: “Quick fix” diets. People who don’t require caffeine.
16>>
Perfect Day Begins With: Kids letting us sleep in, then coming in for cuddles. And a big, steaming mug of coffee.
And Ends With: I love yous. Eskimo kisses.