The word resolution is defined as “a firm decision to do or not to do something.” Several other dictionaries take it a step further, specifically describing New Year’s resolutions as “a decision that you make on the first day of the year about the things that you intend to do or stop doing during that year.”
The word that gets me here is DECISION. Sure, I can decide to do just about anything I want. Skydive. Learn Spanish. Drink less coffee (um, well, maybe not that).
But actually seeing these decisions, these lofty and often unrealistic resolutions, through? Well, that’s something totally different.
C’mon, we’ve all been there. For me, it’s my annual “I’m going to floss every day!” resolution. I go gangbusters for a week, then fall off the wagon and beat myself up about it.
Personally, I believe small, everyday changes are more effective in forming new habits or behaviors than big, radical makeovers. And so this is why I am taking a page from work and setting some long-term personal goals for myself — rather than New Years resolutions — just like I would do around the time of my annual review.
Call it semantics, but goals feel more positive and attainable (and less do-or-die) than resolutions. I like that goals are something I can continually to work on, even if its slow and gradual. Goals are flexible. Goals can withstand the occasional slip-up.
Truthfully, I have been trying to work on many of these goals for awhile now … informally, I guess. But rather than just floating them around in my head, I’m actually going to write them down. And I admit, seeing some of these in print is pretty hard, which may be the motivation I need continue moving forward and making progress.
- Be thankful for my blessings. I admit I am a “grass is always greener” kind of person, which makes it sooooo easy for me to forget — and also be blind to — the incredible blessings right in front of me, and how lucky I am to have such wonderful people and opportunities in my life. My goal is to reflect on those blessings (even if its only for a few minutes on my commute into work) once a day.
- Unplug! I think for many of us, this will always be a work in progress. We’re a plugged-in, immediate gratification society. So my goal is simply to shut my phone off, or keep it buried in my bag, when I get some from work to resist the temptation. Because if my daughter wants to show me a picture she’s just colored, or my son wants to show off a LEGO starship he just built, I don’t want to wave a finger and tell them “In a minute,” while I finish reading an article on People.com.
- Improve my listening skills. Dr. G. totally called me on this a few weeks ago. “You don’t listen anymore!” he said, frustrated that I couldn’t remember something he had told me only days before. And you know what? He’s right. When someone is talking to me, I need to really listen, rather than tuning them out and letting my brain run wild with thoughts of grocery lists and to-do lists and whatever else I am distracted or preoccupied with at the time. Because when that happens, I am not giving them the full attention they deserve, and as a result, I miss most of what they’re saying. And, not to mention, it’s rude. So my goal is to practice focusing on the conversation at hand, making eye contact, quieting my mind and opening myself fully to whatever the person might say.
- Get a better handle on my absent-mindedness. I probably lost or misplaced by keys/debit card/purse/phone more over the past year than I really care to admit. Not only does this add to my stress, but tearing up the house while I search for the missing item takes a lot of time. So I am trying to establish a daily routine for things like my keys (e.g. immediately put them back in my purse). I also recently hung up small, silver dry-erase boards (one for each kid) on the back of the kitchen door so I can keep track of tasks that are easily forgotten, like “Bring more Pull-Ups to daycare” or “Return school library books.”
- Play. It doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out, two hour event. It doesn’t have to involve learning or teaching a life lesson or making intricate crafts to show off on Instagram or Facebook. It’s simply having an impromptu tea party with Mimi or giggling with Buddy over a silly round of Mad Libs or playing Uno or chasing each other around the house. Because as Buddy becomes more and more a boy, it’s a bittersweet reminder that the window of time when he actually wants to play with us is slowly closing.
- Reduce (and better yet, eliminate) the yelling and nagging. This is a tough one to admit, but this is a habit I need to change. Because I feel guilty/sad/disappointed in myself whenever I raise my voice or nag one of my kids for, well, doing kid-like things. I’ve been taking this one slowly, trying to be more self-aware and understand why I yelled (was I tired? frustrated? overwhelmed?). That way I can catch myself in advance and take a deep breath, walk away, regain my composure, speak in a calm voice … and basically, be in control of my reaction.
- Be more cognizant of my spending habits. I’m not going to say “No more Starbucks!” or make any other grand (and naive) declarations. But what I can do is keep track (maybe with an iPhone app?) to see where my money is going, get a handle on my smaller, more frivolous expenses, and see if there are ways to cut back some.
- Choose to be happy when I wake up in the morning, even if I am feeling cranky or irritable. And last but not least …
- Be kind to myself … and cut myself some slack. I know, it’s kind of ironic to include this in a list of goals, right? But like most moms, I put way too much pressure — and guilt -– on myself. About everything. And it’s not healthy. My goal (and I admit this will be a challenge) is to take a step back and really try to put things into perspective more.
Want to know my fitness goals for 2014?
Check back on Monday!
Whether you call them resolutions or goals or commitments, what future changes are you hoping to make?
Chelley / AisForAdelaide says
Great list!!!! You are incredible <3
P.S. I am back on the flossing bandwagon (AND brushing my dog's teeth)- let us see how long this lasts 😉
Jessica says
Aww, thank you! And let me know if you have any good flossing tips. I don’t know why I have such a mental block against it 🙂 LOL.
Britnee says
This is a great list. I love it! Thank you for sharing. 🙂
Lynn says
Love your list! I need to work on some of these this year, too. I did #7 in Nov and Dec 2013, just using an Excel spreadsheet. Eye opening! Now, I’m trying to figure out how to spend less on food! Way too much on food. Good luck, Jess!
Rebecca says
I have set a goal of running my first half marathon this year! I will make it happen. I love your idea of “unplugging” more and I am going to make an effort to turn off the electronics and leave my phone unattended more often. Great list!!