Do you ever have some days when you think, “Wow, I am really losing it”? I’ve been having those moments more and more frequently. Consider the following:
- Two weeks ago, I had to fill in for a traveling Dr.G. by bringing Buddy to the bus stop. I decided to save time by dropping Mimi off at daycare first, then circle back home for the bus. Except that didn’t happen. After dropping her off, I switched into auto-pilot mode, and jumped on the highway to head to work. In the exact opposite direction of our house. With Buddy still in the backseat, eating his breakfast, totally oblivious. It took me about two exits to realize what I had done. By some miracle, we still made the bus.
- My husband will tell me something that I swear I haven’t heard before, and he’ll get this annoyed look on his face that clearly says, “Um, seriously? I’ve mentioned this to you five times before.” Oh, who am I kidding. He usually says that part out loud … and he’s usually right.
- I dropped Buddy off with my neighbor one morning before school, and I was nearly at work when she called to ask if I knew where his backpack was. I turned around. Yup, there it was, in the back of my car … 30 miles from home.
- During the second week of school, I forgot to pack Buddy’s lunch. Way to make a good impression with the teacher.
- I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve arrived at the grocery store to find that I left my list at home.
- We had just gotten unpacked at our beach house on Cape Cod this summer when I realized I left my ulcerative colitis medication – medication I have to take – two hours away at home. The local pharmacy wasn’t able to fill the prescription, so my incredible hubs jumped in the car and drove home to get it for me. This one really kills me; in 10 years of taking my medication, I’ve never once forgotten my meds when we’ve traveled.
These are just a few of many, many examples of my absentmindedness. There have also been unlocked doors, forgotten birthdays, missed appointments and trailing off mid-sentence, completely forgetting my train of thought.
Here’s the best analogy I can come up with: my brain is kind of like a DVR. Do you ever get those warnings that your DVR is at 95% capacity? That’s how I feel most days … that my brain is at maximum capacity.
I make light of it here, but I have always prided myself on being conscientious and responsible, so these slip-ups don’t sit well with me. Now Dr. G. is heading out again for another work trip, which means I need to take over his usual karate class and bus stop duties for a few days, in addition to being the only “responsible adult” at home. And for the first time – in spite of all of his business trips the last five years – I’m a little nervous. The most recent incident with Buddy in the back of the car really shook me (even though I do poke fun about it) because it got me playing the “what if” game.
What if I forget to pick one of the kids up? What if I had unknowingly brought Buddy to work with me? What if I leave the dog out all night? (Oh, yeah, I’ve already done that … poor girl … still feeling incredibly guilty about that one). What if I leave the iron/coffee maker/flat iron on? What if something more serious happens?
I thought that my memory would improve as Mimi got older; I assumed my forgetfulness was the typical post-newborn “mommy brain.” But instead it feels like it’s gotten worse, and I don’t know why. Is it simply a result of having two kids, along with juggling work and all the other things we have going on? Or is it because I’m getting older? Am I not getting enough sleep? All of the above?
All I know is that I use Post-Its, iPhone calendar reminders, our white board in the kitchen, you name it, but things are still slipping through the cracks. Yet on the flip side, I remember all the lyrics to horrible mid-90s songs like “Rump Shaker” and can recite early episodes of “Beverly Hills, 90210.”
Hmm, maybe having kids short circuits your short term memory?
OK, readers, please tell me I’m not alone in this, right? Anyone have any good tips for battling “mommy brain”?
Courtney Buteau says
At 35 weeks pregnant, with a toddler at home, and working full-time, I feel like I have mommy brain all day. My husband is in shock when he needs to repeat himself. I just say, can write it down or put it on the calendar? If I literally don’t see something in front of me, I’ll never remember. Us moms are just trying to do it all. I think as long as we’re doing our best, it’s OK to forget stuff. We probably should ask for help more too. 🙂
Jessica says
Glad to know I’m not alone! And you are totally right with asking for more help. I am sure part of it is my trying to take on too much by myself. Sigh. Congrats on the new baby 🙂
Alysia says
You are absolutely not alone. Three kids, three different schedules, plus trying to start a new business…my head is in too many places. Like you, I pride myself on not slipping up on the big stuff. I’m trying to let the smaller things go, but it’s not easy. SO right there with you!
Jessica says
Thanks, Alysia! It’s always a relief knowing that you’re not the only one 😉 And you make a good point about letting the smaller things go, I definitely need to work on that.
Cheryl says
The other day I came home to find my husband had left the front door wide open with the hall lights on. The mailman nicely left the mail just inside the door, and thankfully nothing was touched. I’m shocked we weren’t completely robbed.
Trust me, you are not alone. My brain is definitely at max capacity DVR status too. 🙂
Megan says
Oh I am right there with you! I have such bad mommy brain that I can barely remember the things I forgot 😉 lol! Recently I put the baby in his big sister’s car-seat and didn’t realize it until we got to our destination. (Luckily he’s over a year and more than 20 pounds so it was ok for him to be forward facing. But still!)
Jessica says
Lol! I’m surprised I haven’t done that yet — but just give me time 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
Jessica Morrison says
I think I will always have mommy brain! Too much multi-tasking! 😉
candice says
I REALLY love your comparison to the DVR. That is right on!
Jessica says
Oh good! I just wish I could go and erase all the random (and useless) bits of info ( lyrics to “Rump Shaker” and the like) to make room for new info, just like you can delete shows you’ve already seen from your DVR to make room for new shows 🙂
Dollops of Diane says
Love the DVR reference! You are definitely not alone.
Jessica says
Thanks! I’m glad I’m not the only one whose mental DVR is reaching capacity 🙂
Michele C. says
you are FAR from alone in this – I swear that having children has made me lose more brain cells than any of my college or Manhattan drinking days. It’s awful. And embarrassing sometimes too! Like totally spacing on your child’s primary daycare teacher’s name. Three times. ARGH!
Jessica says
This cracked me up 🙂 I totally know what you mean!!!!
Jane - MomGenerations.com says
I have “mommy brain” and I’m not even a mom! I think it comes with the territory of being an adult juggling a lot at once! I read once that absent-mindedness is a sign of intelligence, so I’m going with that. 🙂
Jessica says
Ahhh, Jane, I like the way you think 🙂
Carla @ All of Me Now says
Never thought of it like that but you’re totally right – I remember all sorts of randomness but short term stuff? Forget about it!
melissa at filling our bucket says
I have no tips, but I literally do think that mommy brain is permanent. I still have it and think I will forever. I have to write EVERYthing down or else I forget. It’s nuts.
Kristin Wheeler (Mama Luvs Books) says
Yep! After you have kids your brain never goes back to normal. LOL!!! I just embrace it now! =)
Jessica says
That’s a good way to think about it 😉
Kristina (The Greening Of Westford) says
Hate to say it, but I think Mommy brain is permanent! My children are 10 (almost 11) and 9 and 9 (twins). And I forget things all the time and feel like I am juggling a million things in my head. No matter how hard I try to use lists so I’m not constantly thinking about things, I lose the list, or when I sit down to make the list, my mind goes completely blank! It will get a little better as they get older.
One suggestion – use your phone for your grocery list. It has saved me on more than one occasion.
Jessica says
That is great advice, thank you! A friend also suggested that if I write my grocery list on my white board that I should take a picture of it so I have it in my phone. What did we do before cell phones?!?