Dear Buddy,
And here we are. One year away from double-digits. NINE. Oh my.
Nine is kind of a strange age, huh? There are all the signs of impending tweenhood – the attitude, the better understanding of the world around you, the way you start showing off whenever girls are around.
Yet you’re still my cuddly boy who wants to be tucked in at night and is still attached to his lovey and sometimes just wants to whisper secrets.
You’re a big kid and a little kid all at once.
Yet I know that divide is widening—and it’s clear which side is gradually getting smaller. Every time you reach to hold my hand (yes, a rare occurrence these days) or snuggle up next to me I always wonder if it’s the last time.
While I suspect this year will be one marked by significant growth—both physical and emotional—I hope you continue to move through life with the same independence and confidence you’ve exhibited over the last nine years.
And so here are my birthday wishes for you…
Know who you are. Because I love that you confidently march to the beat of your own drummer. You don’t follow along with what other kids are doing just because they’re doing it. You’re just as fine playing solo with Legos as you are running around with your friends. You do what you want to do, make your own decisions, guided by your own self-awareness and burgeoning moral compass. I know this will serve you well later in life—particularly in the tween years, where many kids will test limits to prove their independence and you may have to make some tough decisions.
Be friendly and outgoing. Yes, your childhood nickname, Mr. Mayor, lives on because you still talk to anyone — strangers, grown-ups, other kids. Need to ask a waiter for more ketchup? Chitchat with your friends’ parents? Make pleasant small talk with relatives you only see once a year? You do it all with such a breezy, sincere ease and not an ounce of self-consciousness. It’s a wonderful gift to have.
Don’t be afraid to take on challenges. As a formerly shy, quiet child, I’m kind of in awe about how you’re not one to wilt or shy away from the spotlight. In fact, you crave it, thrive in it. But not in a showboaty, “look at me!” way. You ask to pitch in the game, to play goalie, to have the solo because I think you just like being in the thick of it, to have a challenge, to be in the pressure cooker and know that your efforts count for something. I respect you so much for it and I hope that you continue to seek out challenges in life, to do more than just coast, and to not always take the easy road because this will prepare you well for the “real” world.
Pursue your passions. While many kids got over their dinosaur phase in kindergarten, you continue to pursue this passion of yours, seeing it as more than just “cool creatures” but rather as a scientific mystery. Now you’re digging deeper and deeper into the world of paleontology, even announcing you want to be a “paleobiologist” when you grow up. Your interests will change over the years, but whatever they are at the time, embrace them and pursue them with gusto, because a passion and joy for life makes for a much fuller and happier soul.
Smile and laugh. Always. You, my boy, certainly have a goofy side, as anyone who has heard your attempt at knock-knock jokes (or fart jokes) will attest. You love being the entertainer, making people – especially your sister and friends – laugh. I hope you keep that silly sense of humor and that you spend a portion of each day smiling and laughing. You’ll find it can get you through a lot and make life infinitely more pleasant.
Be kind, compassionate, and respectful. You have an incredibly kind and giving heart, and already have great intuition about other people’s feelings. I was blown away by the maturity and grace you showed at your great-grandpa’s funeral a few weeks ago. You gave your nana and great-grandma and auntie extra tight, extra long hugs, not because we asked you to but because you sensed their sadness and simply knew they needed it. It’s easy to lose that sense of empathy and compassion, especially in the haze of adolescence, but try to hold on tight to it. Respect others: the teachers, coaches and other adults who are here to guide you; your family; and your friends. Be kind to people and assume the good in others. But at the same time, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. It is okay to distance yourself from people who are unkind.
Okay, so yes, I am your mom, which makes me a bit biased…not to mention genetically inclined to think you’re the most amazing boy, inside and out. Which, of course, I do 😉
But based on what I’ve seen over the last nine years — including the sneak peeks of the man you’ll eventually be — I couldn’t be more proud, and you make my heart swell so much I’m afraid it may burst.
So on this, your ninth birthday, all I can say is keep being you, follow your heart, believe in yourself, and dream big, because I know you are destined for incredible things.
Love,
Mom