Note: This post was originally published in November 2013.
Did you know the phrase “supermom” actually has a definition in the Merriam-Webster dictionary?
: a woman who raises a child and takes care of a home while also having a full-time job
While I guess the description above technically describes my life, there is absolutely no way I would ever consider myself a supermom.
For one thing, I’m pretty sure supermoms don’t exist, regardless of what Merriam-Webster says. Sometimes I think they’re real (especially when I start comparing myself to them, which happens more than I care to admit), but really … has anyone seen one? Met one? I haven’t.
And second? That phrase “supermom” (and that word “super”) implies that this is EASY, that balancing these different and often conflicting aspects of our lives (as defined above) is an innate and intuitive ability, like having superhuman strength.
And as any mom – regardless of whether she works inside or outside the home – will attest, it is not easy. Not in the least.
But you know what would make things a little easier? Real superpowers — like the kind you see in movies or are the plot lines of comic books.
Can you imagine what it would be like to be in two places at once? Or to use mind control to convince your kids to eat their vegetables? Or to have super speed, so that you can bake cupcakes for the school fundraiser, finish all the laundry and file those expense reports in the blink of an eye?
Now that would make me a supermom.
Here are the 10 superpowers I wish I had:
- Being in two places at once. This one is so obvious. The ability to be in the staff meeting and volunteer in your child’s classroom at the same time is every working mom’s dream.
- Teleport. Farewell, 50-minute work commute! Sayonara, 7-hour car rides to visit the family for Thanksgiving!
- Telepathy, or the ability to read minds. Imagine if you knew exactly what your toddler is thinking when she says, “Mghgh wjcm fkfk”?
- Fly. Honestly, not sure if this would help me at all (especially since I now have the power to teleport) but it would just be cool.
- Instantaneously heal … and not just myself, but also my kids. Just think: no more sick days!
- Telekinsesis, or the power to manipulate or move objects with your mind. Do you have a child who will only nap when laying on your chest, basically rendering you trapped and useless for two hours? And then 5 minutes into the nap you notice that the TV remote is across the room? Yep, then you know what I’m talking about with this one.
- Ability to control the weather. No more snow days or schlepping the kids out in torrential downpours.
- Night vision. Because I’m getting old.
- Invisibility. If they can’t see me, then I can go the bathroom by myself.
- Force field generation. So I could always protect my family. This one’s a no-brainer.
Okay, moms and dads, your turn: What superpowers would make your lives a bit easier?