I admit, I’m not usually an optimistic, glass-half-full sort of person. But last week — when I wasn’t able to work out at all, thanks to another round of debilitating lower back pain triggered by yard work — was, in retrospect, actually a GOOD thing in some ways.
Because I have secretly been in a running funk for awhile now.
I haven’t really written about it here; honestly, I really haven’t wanted to acknowledge it. I don’t know what happened, but all of a sudden, running has felt more like a chore or an item on my to-do list or a topic to blog about, rather than an outlet and my happy place.
Instead of soaking up all the excitement and adrenaline of my recent races — like I used to — I’ve plodded through, wishing with each step that I was at the finish line and could STOP.
It’s like I’ve been going through the motions; the joy simply isn’t there anymore.
I thought participating in the Runner’s World event would remind me why I started running in the first place, and maybe it did … a little. But being around people who live, breathe, and love running made me feel a bit like a poseur, and was more disheartening in some ways, rather than encouraging.
And then I injured my back, and was forced to sit on the sidelines for more than a week.
However, being laid up made me realize several things.
1. I need physical activity in my life, because holy hell, was I miserable when I couldn’t exercise!
2. Running is not the only form of physical activity out there.
3. Perhaps I’ve been focusing too much on running and racing and training this spring? I regularly blew off cross-training (like Body Pump and hot yoga) to log those miles when life got crazy and I fell behind in my training plan. Maybe I need to take the pressure off myself and start to again incorporate other activities I enjoy doing — and even try new ones — to supplement my running.
4. Because I also realized I’m not ready to give up and pull the plug on running altogether. Maybe the summer is the perfect time to mix things up a bit, take it easy, and hopefully rediscover the joy in running.
So here’s my game plan:
- Limit running to twice a week for the next 6 weeks. I do have a half marathon in late September, so I can’t stop running cold turkey, but that still buys me nearly two months of agenda-free running. My plan is to run one speed/interval workout and one whatever-the-heck-I-feel-like run per week. 4 miles at half marathon pace? 6 miles at a slow, chat-with-my-friend pace? A speedy 5K? All are welcome here. I’m hoping this approach — where I’m calling the shots, not a training plan — will reignite my running fire.
- Try new activities. I recently took my first barre fitness class and fell in love. It was hard work (holy plies and shaking thighs!) but I really enjoyed it. There’s that word: enjoy. My goal is to get there twice a week.
- Spin again. I stopped going to spin in February once I started half marathon training because I needed to dedicate those “cardio days” to running. But I swear, spin is such an intense workout, and aside from hot yoga (which isn’t really a fair comparison), no other workout makes me sweat as much as spinning. I want to get back one day a week.
- Strength train. I love myself some Body Pump, but after five years of it, I’m kinda bored. I have access to a pretty nice gym at work, so I think I need to carve out time at lunch a day or two some week and do some free weight work on my own.
I know I may not be a true “running blogger,” but it is a topic I normally love writing about and is something some of you actually come here specifically to read about (thank you!), so I owe it to you to be honest and transparent.
And, I’m guessing I’m not the only one who has ever gone into a running funk or wanted to take a break.
All I know is that I can’t write posts about how much I “love running” when I’m just not feeling it. It will come across as insincere and pandering, and that’s not what I’m about, and is not why I started this blog. But I also don’t want to write a bunch of these Eeyore-like posts about running because, really, who wants to read those?!
So now you know why I may not be writing as much about running and racing for the next month or two (although I do have a sweet Running Skirts giveaway coming up soon!). But I really, really hope you’ll stick with me! I am confident I’ll get back to my running happy place, once I learn to run for me again, but I also know it’s not going to magically happen overnight.
Thank you for reading, understanding, supporting … all that good stuff 🙂
Stacey says
I actually lost my running joy while training for a marathon last year. I ended up injured and I didn’t run the marathon, and after several months of cross training and short runs, I finally felt my love of running return. Don’t worry, you’ll get it back, but sometimes we all just need a break 🙂
Jessica says
Thanks for the hope and inspiration, Stacey 🙂 I admit I’m kind of excited to run if/when I feel like it. Its kind of like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders …
LAURa says
Love your honesty. I broke my ankle in December and am afraid to run again. What you’re describing sounds a lot like period training used in triathlon training and perfectly normal. I have a great book that describes what you’re talking about (you figured it out on your own 🙂
Jessica says
Thanks so much! It actually feels good to be honest about it – I’ve been struggling internally with it for awhile now. And it’s nice to hear from others who, in their own ways, have been in similar situations. Hope your ankle is doing better!
Kaella (KaellaOnTheRun) says
Thank you for being open and honest! I do love reading your blog for your running updates and race recaps but it’be nice to hear about other ways people are sweating (maybe it’ll force me to start really incorporating more strength training one of these days!!)
Jessica says
Thank you so much!! I definitely want to do a post on barre class soon, since I loved it so much 🙂
Lauren says
Amen Jess! I have had a spate of running related problems and am now in pt. I have a half in 2 1/2 weeks and I am just not feeling it. I feel a little broken and will be returning to my spin/Pilates roots as I heal.
Jessica says
Oh no, PT?!?! That stinks. Are you sitting out the half? Maybe if we heal and find the joy this summer we’ll be ready to take on (and kick butt) at the Hartford Half in October 😉 (the power of positive thinking!)
Elizabeth says
This post came at just the right time for me. I too am in a running slump. It started after my first half in April and didn’t improve after a huge PR on a 5K in May. I have been down on myself for weeks, feeling very lost as running was my “thing.” It didn’t help that I got a new job during this time which has included travel. I don’t have any advice but I feel comforted to know that my favorite blogger and mother runner is feeling the same way…. you are not alone!
Jessica says
Thank you so much for your kind words!!! And I am sooo there with you. Its hard (and unnerving) when the way you self-identify changes. But we’ll get through it – sounds like we both need to take a running break 🙂